Friday, November 19, 2010

Rain, Fall, Winter, Family

I'll admit it: When you're dealing with sexual assault from your childhood, as it has been freshly uncovered and pondered and handled and touched and felt and chewed on-everything feels like an assault all over again.

Walking down the street I find that if I'm alone, I'm constantly on the verge of tears.

So I keep trying not to be alone. I also keep wondering if the "normal person" years are ever going to arrive, or if I'm just one of the lucky ones that will continue to uncover more and more and more garbage that I could not control or run away from.

Fingers crossed I am not that kind of lucky.

1 comment:

rae ann said...

oh hon! you *just* opened your eyes to what happened to you! it's not been that long that you've been processing how you were violated. give yourself some time and i guarantee you will be one of those "normal people" who move forward and aren't defined by what was done to them (not that you are now... you know what i mean). i think there are a lot of stages to this process and you're going through those. it takes a while. in the mean time, stick close to your people. don't be alone if you don't want to and be alone when you do. snuggle close to andrew at night and come see me all the time. you're doing great, i promise. xoxo