Sometimes, I'm not gonna lie, I want to have a baby. Right now. Because everyone is doing it!...lol. But seeing everyone I know and love spawn has really made me contemplate my own plans and "readiness."

One of Julia's friends who I think I'm beginning to be quite fond of, if for nothing else girly gossip and sarcasm, Rae Ann(e?)'s sister recently had a baby. Rae built this TOTALLY AWESOME mobile to go over the crib out of little hand sewn birds of different fabrics (think quilted birds, but cooler...even if that is what they were...lol) hanging from a branch, or something that looked cool/like a branch. Because I'm immature and not ready to have babies-that mobile made me want to have a baby. So I could be a Paris Hilton kind of mom with no emotion/maturity, but at least my nursery would be cool...agh.

But the mobile was awesome, and I want one. I also want to steal her beautiful child Ivy's name...but I won't. Regardless-I am not ready to be a mommy, and will have to live through my friends right now. Andrew and I are in a fantastically selfish place where we can get up whenever we want, eat whatever we want, and are not obligated to anyone. It's fantastic and I really do enjoy it. I can say with confidence, that youth is not wasted on me. I appreciate the fact that I'm a baby myself, and that now is the time to do these things...now if only my foot weren't broken...This summer Andrew and I are in plans with another couple friend of ours to do a week long road trip down the California coast through the Redwoods and beyond. Andrew has never seen the Redwoods, and I am now old enough for wine country. Woo! And of course, because I'm a baby, I want to go alllll the way down to Six Flags and pee my pants. It's fun.

If I had chitlens, that wouldn't be possible. If I become pregnant, we will celebrate joyously. I want to be able to tell my children I graduated from college. I would prefer to tell my children that I waited to have kids so I could establish the medical practice that has then paid for our home, needs, and pretty darn near all of our wants. But the timing is not in my hands. Andrew and I are devout believers in birth control, and birth control only. Our personal feelings are prevention is acceptable, but rectifying a birth is not. As in: we don't believe in the morning after pill. That's not prevention, that's an after the facter. For US, that's what we have decided. How I feel about forcing my beliefs on other people's wombs/future lives...different convo for a different day. Needless to say, bc is not 100% effective, so as married people we are ready to assume parent titles if it so happens.

I have thought this through and thought it through some more, and it's a toughie. As a woman, my uterus keeps urging me to fill it with life, but as a rational human being with the opportunities I have available to me such as career and education (thanks to some loud-mouthed women like me and something called suffrage...lol) I want to wait.

ALLLL of this typing to say-I've thought this through, but I think about all of this every damn day. It's annoying and exhausting. I've read the Feminine Mystique and I've formed my opinions/conclusions. I've learned about the movement and all the "liberation" that was done in the 60's and 70's. I've also seen the studies and aftermath including STD rates that are incomprehensible, the absolute disappearance of family, and where promiscuous sex has really gotten us....so I'm 150% sure that when I have children-I want to be there for them. I have options that women before me never dreamed of, and while I will pursue them full force-my babies will always come first. FIRST. Not second, not an afterthought, but first. When my kids are older, heck-I'm an advocate of the social interaction present in part-time daycare, I'll go back to work if I need to or desire to.

I'm just full of opinions today(always). And I'm bored. That is all.