Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Fatigue

I've been plagued by sleep lately. It chases me down in places like the library. It will not leave me alone, and no matter how strong my resolve is to conquer it and get up early enough to work out, I hit the snooze and succumb. Which is just plain frustrating-I have other things to be doing.

Plus it makes me feel guilty to sleep while Andrew is working. Last night he, for the very first time in our very short marriage (two years 3/21...3-2-1...get it? Totally unintentional, it was just the day the Judge was available. I digress), made a snarky comment about my lack of "wifely" fulfillment. As in-I very rarely do anything along the lines of dishes or laundry, and my feeble attempts at straightening the house, cooking meals occasionally, and perhaps sometimes tidying up, are nothing compared to what he does.

To which I kindly replied that sounds like a personal problem to me because I've never been that kind of girl and he knew it before we got married. I also suggested we would have a lot more time to spend with each other if we just hired someone to do all those things for us, as on top of full-time school and work for Andrew, and more than full-time school and work for me-we just frankly don't have time.

He said that we frankly don't have the money. (Truth=epically lame sometimes.)

So I chewed on it for a minute, looked at him with a pouty lip and sex me eyes, which made him cuddle me and say he was sorry (I teach classes on Tuesday and Thursday evenings if you would like to take notes), and then told him that as soon as I quit my job in May I will gladly take over doing the laundry and keeping the house clean....except I don't do dishes because that's just gross: our deal has always been I cook->he does dishes. I also refuse to take out the laundry because that's the man's job.

All of this I thought very interestingly was somewhat linked to this amazing woman's blog...I say amazing because I love her style. Once you read it you won't be surprised as to why....

Belize is paid for, we're definitely going, but we both are kind of just waiting for the standard Rowlett disaster to hit and stop us from going...fingers crossed it takes a vacation or gets attacked by sleep.

This term is alllllmost done, after which we will be spending Spring Break with Andrew's family at Fort Stevens.....yes, I'm excited for the place. No, I'm not excited that yet again we will be spending our precious and hard to come by vacation time with family. I am SO EXCITED that we are going to be using the break I'll have between Summer and Fall terms to go on a grown-up just us nobody we know or are related to-trip to Belize. School will, after this term, just get progressively easier. I will have one more (Spring) term of required classes, then it's just sunshine and rainbows in all of my upper division/chosen classes. I'm excited.

Also, because I keep forgetting, my dear friend who I thought I was going to lose is no longer being treated for the "mystery" disease...after a few more opinions they are wisely treating it as Rheumatoid Arthritis, it is just extremely severe in her neck and hands. Which is a blessing as far as dealing with something larger, but terrible for her quality of life. There is no real balance there, but I get to keep her for a few more moments. I still haven't cried, and I haven't been able to see her when she told me...

So if I know you and love you and you get really sick and I don't call-please don't be angry. I'll try my hardest, I will, but I'm terrible with things like that. When I was 15 my papa had to go to the hospital for a week because he needed a stint in his heart. There was ambulances, and doctors, and open-backed gowns...the one time my grandma took me to see him at the hospital he coughed up so much blood he filled one of those kidney shaped throw-up catchers, and I bawled like a baby and didn't see him again until he got home.

It's me-not you. I have a hard time with loss. On the same note, if someone close to me dies, a list I shall not write as it may just not be the wisest thing-don't let me stay in bed forever because I know I will try. Unless it is Andrew. If I lose Andrew just let me waste away in our bed. It will be better that way.

Since this is getting really dark and twisty, I'm going now.

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